Diet madness and anxiety

Hey friends! Remember our buddy the I Love America Diet? I finally edited some old footage for your delightful consumption. Brock and Cynthia and I made "ham and cheese crescent pinwheels" and were drunk and also there are silly America's Next Top Model-themed songs:



As mentioned in the headline, I am an unfortunate ball of anxious energy these days. This translates into procrastination, frustration over procrastination, and occasional emotional breakdowns that require watching all six parts of the BBC (AKA Firthy Version) Pride and Prejudice miniseries in one sitting. But besides hating everything right now, ladies and gents, I has another funny friend! My buddy Rebekah (whom you may remember from her appearances in the french-toasted tuna sandwiches videos) is blogging about apartment living, household decor, pop culture references, nerdiness, and being generally amusing at The Apartment Dweller's Survival Guide. Go look at the pretty pretties and love it. I will try to churn out something creative soon if this last semester of taking classes and teaching doesn't COMPLETELY destroy my soul. Or I'll just work on the giant jigsaw puzzle on the floor some more (under 1500 pieces is a waste of time in my opinion).

Whatevs,
L

Celebrating 600 posts with French toasted tuna sandwiches

Yeah, I've had this blog for awhile. Also, I finally managed to edit our French-toasted tuna sandwich adventure down to 10 minutes. Huzzah for ridiculous recipes from the I Love America Diet!

Two items of business

1. I made a preview/outtakes vid for the French Toasted Tuna Sandwich recipe of the I Love America Diet:



2. Via Shakesville's Quote of the Day by Herman Cain:

"The more toppings a man has on his pizza, I believe the more manly he is."
 
As a former Godfather's Pizza employee, I have to say that it wasn't very manly when we got trained to count how many pieces of pepperoni we could put on each pizza or when we had to weight how much cheese we used. Holding back our masculine expression by limiting how many toppings we could put on was BULLSHIT, H.C.  Bullshit.

UPDATE: Here's that awkward Pat Robertson old man exercising clip Will references in the video:

Pat Robertson Presses 2000 Lbs. - Watch the top videos of the week here

The I Love America Diet Caters Your Next Party!

Guys, have you been looking for that perfect snack to serve your friends that will impress them and also fill them with cheese, patriotism, and federal dietary standards? Phyllis Ann George has come through for you, then!

Brock and I made the Beef and Cheese Log. It is as ridiculous as it sounds:

Understanding the basics of the I Love America Diet

This weekend my buddy Brock came over and worked on some I Love America Diet stuff. By finishing the birthday Kraken and taking one costumed late-night trip to Wal-Mart for supplies, we were able to produce enough material for two videos. This first lays out some basic elements of the diet and tells you how to manage your boozing in a skinny and patriotic way. The construction of the beef and cheese log to come soon!



(Excuse the video quality, I can only do so much with a built-in webcam and a really bright lamp on one side and whatever, it's good enough for comedy.)

The I Love America Diet

Oh hi America,

Sorry I haven't written in so long. The thing is, I've been busy solving your goddamn obesity crisis. You're welcome:

Rebel Yelling: Volume VI- Matthew Jarzen Column from the Past!

Last fall, when I was in the heat of the Rebel Yelling original quintology, I was contacted by actual real-life acquaintances of our favorite conservative undergraduate opinionator Matthew Jarzen. The feedback was uniformly positive. This is because the videos are awesome. Anyway, before Christmas some time we filmed this video and I just very recently remembered/got around to editing it, so here goes. BTW: remember "Climategate?"



Original article at the UNLV Rebel Yell: Climategate: The story of the century!

Yes, that is a weird furry Anne Geddes baby doll. It was part of a costume, okay?

Rebel Yelling: Volume V--9/11ish

Back in September, Matthew Jarzen tried to remind us all about The 9/11. We read: We forgot our 9/11 promises. (Matthew Jarzen, UNLV Rebel Yell)

Rebel Yelling- The Latest Installment of Awesome

Matthew Jarzen's latest piece up at the UNLV site totes rocked my socks. Here the I-Man and I do a dramatic reading: See original article: Modern liberalism is repackaged totalitarianism (Matthew Jarzen, UNLV Rebel Yell).

Rebel Yelling Volume I

Our illustrious campus newspaper recently exposed me to the works of big-time Las Vegas college student opinion-maker, Matthew Jarzen. His conservatism and ability to use required high school readings to not really actually prove his point lead me to believe that he is America's next great hope. In the following video I read his most recent op-ed in the UNLV Rebel Yell student paper: Is our press really free anymore?. Good question, Matthew Jarzen. The 10-minute YouTube limit and also boring parts required me to edit out some of Mr. Jarzen's ingenuous prose, but let me assure you that I did my best to present his work in the most honorable way possible: drunk.

It's like an Alaskan x-file!

Deep in the midst of viewing my Northern Exposure complete series set (it comes in a ridiculous leather pouch for some reason!), I was particularly amused to find out that some sort of mysterious blob had recently been tormenting the Alaskan coast. Apparently it's just a huge mass of stringy algae, though. Phew. That's not creepy, right? Totally not sentient or anything, the giant mass of algae. Nope. Not like that scary giant Argentinean ant empire or whatever. Anyway, for more information about Alaska, be sure to go review my Alaska vlog from a while back. A classic. And while I'm pimping* my own YouTube videos, you may as well go watch the apocalpyse vlog too, though we did not include a hostile international ant and/or algae takeover in one of the doomsday scenarios. Should've seen that one coming. I bet reincarnated dinosaur Karl Marx would have. *Is there a less distasteful word that means something similar but is not associated with selling women? Shilling? Or do you have to shill for something? Share your thoughts, dear readers, if any of you are bothering to read this footnote.

Garfield Extravanza Part 1: Audio/Visual Edition

So I finally finished my James A. Garfield vlog after having visited the national historic site and whatnot, like a few weeks ago. So hooray! Notes on the music: Some awesome French dude is blogging on the seminal Anthology of American Folk Music and conveniently gathered a bunch of versions of the "Charles Guiteau" song that you can download at The Old, Weird America. My favorite has to be the rockin' cover I used over the credits by random Dutch musician Meindert Talma and his totally unproblematically-named backup band, The Negroes. I couldn't find an mp3 of it, but you should watch this fine performance by Johnny Cash of "Mr. Garfield": I am so grateful that other people in this world love to take the mythology of our American Preznits and make pretty songs and blogs and pictures and whatnot. Hooray for historical nerdery!

Bald Eagle Vlog

Hey! I got drunk and made a video about bald eagles. Sheryl's in it, too.

Drunk Snack Vlog

I get drunk and tell people about good snacks. Drink-along challenge: take one every time I say "delicious."

Ways in Which the World May End: An Apocalpytic Vlog

Recently, via Crooks and Liars, I found out that Stephen Colbert found out from crazy Glenn Beck that the world is probably ending pretty soon. And so Stephen built a Doom Bunker. Which is awesome. So Isaac and I got drunk and built an apocalyptic hobo fort, which has less fancy lighting and fog machines, but is slightly more realistic when you consider the resources most of us will have on hand in the event that we survive the apocalypse.

I'll Ask Ya About Alaska

Hey kids! It's the belated Thursday history/America post! And it's on ALASKA, America's biggest and most sparsely populated state, hooray! On Friday night, Isaac and I got VERY drunk and made an informative video. For everyone's sake, I have edited quite a bit of drunken rambling/Isaac sleeping out of it. I hope you enjoy it; it is of the highest quality (as always):

Belatedly-Posted Secret Service Vlog (in 2 parts)

Hello friends! I finished all my final projects, slipped under the wire (as well as on the road near the Detroit airport), and made it home to an uncharacteristically frozen Pacific Northwest for the holidays. I was just planning on lying around the whole time anyway, but tragically my sister's flight was canceled for today and she's not coming in until Tuesday. This late night couching is awfully lonely without our shared love of staying up too late and watching TV and saying the same things at the same time. Like, "Sting is hot." She has been driven to watching a marathon of gangster movies. ANYHOW. Isaac (AKA Thrift Store Champion) and I got drunk the other night and decided to make an informative video about the Secret Service. He, of course, kept interrupting me and I am too lazy to fool around much with editing, so you guys get 20 minutes of our drunken ramblings interspersed with occasional historical facts. Enjoy! Part One: And Part Two, you lucky bastards:

I can has vlog! About prohibition!

My father, from whom all electronic blessings flow, sent me a webcam recently. I have employed it to create one of these "video blogs" the kids are always talking about. Please excuse ridiculous/poor editing, I'm a beginner: Let me know what you think about the vloggin'. But be kind.