Energy Drink Review: Chocolate Sport Shake

Get ready to SHAKE up your world!

Guys, I think we all know I'm no big fan of "shake" beverages that purport to give you energy. Sport Shake claims to be "THE ORIGINAL ENERGY MILK SHAKE." (Back up, posers.) It is obviously for exercise people and/or people on a diet who just drink chocolate crap instead of eating food. I suspect that it will be gross, but crappy chocolate shake in a can is probably not the worst flavor I can think of. And apparently this company shows up at random Texas Christian University baseball games and such.

FLAVOR: You know, not too bad, all things considered. It tastes like there may actually be milk in here somewhere. It is an okay chocolate milky drink thing!

EFFECTIVENESS: I am feeling perkier, but it may be because I had to call twelve different people to track down somebody who's missing a meeting right now. DOING STUFF = MORE ENERGY. But I'm sure the "balance of natural protein and carbs" helped. It took about three gulps to drink and I do not expect it to last long.

OVERALL: I don't feel like running or doing a weird tree pose or whatever the person in the "O" of "Sport" is doing on the can, but it was not gross and vaguely refreshing. This seems like some shit I would've liked to drink for breakfast in junior high instead of the chalky Carnation Instant Breakfast my mom bought me when she found out I was just drinking chocolate milk on the way to the bus stop instead of eating. #TrueStory #7thGrade #Memories #ImSorryICan'tStopThis