Unsettling but apt comparison of the day: sperm in the face and weddings

Amanda Hess explains how the fact that some ladies apparently enjoy "facials" is totes like getting married:

[B]ecause even though we all know it’s sexist as fuck, weddings—like facial ejaculation—still make some people happy.

I'd really rather not think of them as analogous, because EW. Have I mentioned that I'm getting married, BTW?* Because I am. Next summer. To Thrift Store Champion/Isaac/the I-Man/Beardface/that dude I'm always hanging out with. No creepy patriarchal property-transfer type traditions will be enacted. Also, no facials. See: Semen Facials Are Like Weddings (The Sexist). *In case you are one of the .23 people who I don't talk to frequently in real life who also happen to read this blog.