Douchetastic Times

I love that Summer's Eve never mentions that every doctor ever recommends that you NEVER EVER use their products.

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Random Friday Night Linkies

I found awesome seventies' lamps for my living room at the Goodwill tonight, and I am riding that high right now. Also, drinking Sparks. But I wanted to get in a little bloggity blog before we give in to the awesomeness of tonight's cinematic feature, Short Circuit 2. -Ces Marciuliano, of Sally Forth fame,* but also Teenage Girl President and the recently re-launched webcomic Medium Large makes funny 20s slang jokes.** -Jesus' General, America's manliest and most anti-masturbatory blogger blogs. Us ex-Mormons know what the important issues are. How I was reborn as a hand virgin. (Jesus' General) -This one's for the ladies: Intern Margaret talks about a new documentary that sheds light on why getting pelvic exams is so shitty. I'd heard before that medical students are sometimes trained on unconscious surgical patients and other such unethical medical rape-y type things, but apparently there's even worse shit than that. It is kind of crazy how broadly the experience can vary, depending on who's performing the exam. It's especially great when they make editorial comments on your ovaries and/or other ladyparts. At Your Cervix Takes a Look at Why Pelvic Exams Suck. (Jezebel) *Yes, I just said "Sally Forth fame." **Although it should be said that ALL jokes about 1920s slang are undoubtedly hilarious.

Warning: Maybe TMI

WTF is it with these fruity condoms? Apparently "Her Sensation" also means "bright pink with a strong artificial candy-type odor." Listen, condom people: sex smells like people, it shouldn't smell like you just walked into Bath & Body Works. The good thing about becoming a promiscuous ho, besides all the promiscuous sex, mind you, is that my stupid fruity condoms are almost gone. I won't be buying that shit again. You may say, "Lauren, is this just an excuse to brag to the internet that you've been getting some?" And I might respond, "So?" Best summer ever.

Monday wonday

I made delicious oatmeal chocolate-peanut butter swirl chip cookies yesterday. My Mormon upbringing was good for one thing: superb baking skillz. NOM NOM NOM.

It's a beautiful day here in Minnesota, and due to the fun-filled weekend I had, I've fallen a bit behind on my trivia research. By which I mean I haven't done any yet. So I'm working on that right now instead of composing insightful blog posts (or, you know, doing my job). One of these days, though, I swear I'll write one. In the meantime, though, here's an amusing post by Punkass Marc at Punkass Blog: Buy our product. Otherwise, vaginas win. Huh. According to Blogger's spellcheck, "vaginas" is not a word. "Vagina" is, but no plurals allowed. Apparently the gathering of more than one female reproductive system should not occur. I'll have to tell my roommates that so some of us can move out. Too many vagina"s" in one house. Awkward!

Anyway, I should do some work and continue to get ready for my weekly MONSTER TRIVIA MEETING with Anne. There has been discussion of wearing monster costumes. Unfortunately, this dream has yet to come to fruition. Maybe next week.