A Message from the Sexy Gay Jesus

Hello my blessed children: As you may know, I am the Imaginary Gay Best Friend/Deity of Choice of this blog's proprietor. I am usually far too busy being fabulous and recovering from celestial hangovers to pay attention to nonsense on the interwebs. However, a horrendous Fox News screen shot at Wonkette* requires my commentary. Observe: WTF that facial hair?! I fear I must disavow any connection between myself and that disgusting imposteur on the left. If he wants to claim the title of "Douchebag Jesus," that's fine, but he'd better use the entire title at all times. I wouldn't want anyone to confuse me with someone with such terrible sense of style as demonstrated by completely misguided personal grooming habits. Also, is it really necesary for both of you to be wearing crowns of "thorns"? The other douchey dude sitting next to Douchebag Jesus looks like an Ed Hardy-clad scarecrow, for my sake! Anyway, no. Fucking fake Jesuses fucking messing with my reputation. GodDAMMIT. Anyway, gotta go put something awesome on and get drunk. Oh, also, I endorse this video: Love & tequila shots, The Sexy Gay Jesus *Yes, I know html, I'm fucking Jesus, for god's sake