Tuesday, December 01, 2009

The President talks about Afghanistan, I contribute nothing

Live bloggin, bitchez! 8:01, right on time. A crowd of cadets is even more boring to look at than a crowd of congress costumes. The prez is getting grayer these days. 9/11!! Why does Barack Obama love Islam so much? NATO apparently works. "The decision was made" to start the war in Iraq. Nameless sources of decisionry. Go ahead and clap for yourselves, uniformies. Who consults with allies? Wimp. Watching Sarah Palin talk is way more entertaining. 30,000 new friends to the Afghan people are on their way! Hillary Clinton, woot! Giving Pakistan nuclear weapons was, like, an awesome idea. He is so freakishly good at talking. JEALOUS. No blank checks anymore! Best movie ever, BTWs. Mr. Macintosh? Waterslide from inside the house? Remember? Afghanistan has cancer! Also, Pakistan. Maybe we should try some visualization techniques to shrink the tumors. PAH-ki-stahn. Tah-li-bahn. But Afghanistan is pronounced normally. These is totally not Vietnam, you guys! McChrystal has a very colorful uniform and a terrible haircut. HRC's hair is looking nice. Eisenhower quote! "We failed" = George Bush sucks! Let's be nimble like Jack and watch out for the candlestick of diffuse enemies. Why does Barack Obama hate America's awesomeness at nuclear weapons? FDR reference! Um, sorry Mr. President, but America don't make mistakes. I've become obsessed with trying to spot the interpreter for the deaf. I keep just seeing security guys standing in front of the stage? Does West Point no admit the hearing impaired? Let's all get united! Why is the president's being made up of fibers? My being is made up of liters of vodka.

1 comment:

  1. Blank Check = best movie. Possibly ever.