Energy Drink Review: Brain Toniq

Fueling the fuck out of my cranium right now.

I walked home from work today. It's about a 35 minute walk when the sidewalks haven't been poorly shoveled so there is a couple inches of packed down bumpy snow and ice that might kill you, so in the 10 degree weather, it was kind of intense. So halfway home I stopped at the local hippie co-op to look around and start to feel my legs again. I looked at the fancy energy drinks and bought one called Brain Toniq. I took a shot of Maker's Mark when I got home and have been snuggled up in multiple layers of fleece for a few hours, so I'm feeling a little sleepy. Friends are coming over in a little bit to celebrate the Official Night of Champagne for Everybody (all the other nights are champagne nights for me, obvs), so I need to perk up a bit. This new-ish Ke$ha album I just downloaded is helping a bit, but I need beverage help so I can be on my game when the boozing begins.

Brain Toniq is over 90% organic. Thank goodness! It is also vegan and kosher, so there you go, honey-avoidant Jews! This drink does not contain caffeine. So I predict it will do nothing to really "get thinking again." I spent $2.59 on it and I've already had two Diet Cokes today, so I'm going to drink it right now anyway.

FLAVOR: Fruityish. Like actual fruit, not fruit "flavor." Lightly carbonated, so it's better than just straight juice. Kind of citrus-y with a melon-y kind of thing (might be the agave nectar). Not bad. Definitely doesn't taste like chemicals.

EFFECTIVENESS: The website claims this drink will give me focus and "clarity." I wish! Maybe if I chug it, I will know if I should write a dissertation/what the topic should be/how to get started/what else to do with me life. I feel this is unlikely to happen, however. About 2/3 of the way through this tiny 8.4 ounce can, but I am actually feeling a bit livelier. Honestly, I think it's working. I might have been getting a second wind by now anyone, but I'm going to choose to believe that all 90% of the organic ingredients in this drink are waking my brain up. 8.4 ounces, and not bad. It helped me overcome my cozy couch burrow to put on real pants in anticipation of my guests arriving, which is quite an accomplishment, I'd say.

Overall, RECOMMENDED. Especially if you're into not filling your body full of chemicals and/or like small beverages. On 10% here, bro.