Energy Drink Review: Muscle Monster Energy Shake

Just as stupid an idea as it looks.

We saw these "Muscle Monster" shakes in the store and were like, "WHUT." So of course I had to get one and I'm using it for my strenuous athletic training AKA sitting at a desk and answering the phone for five hours. Chocolate was the least offensive-looking flavor. That's what we got, bitchez. I'm hoping the "coach in a can" it claims to be can help me formulate a plan to write my dissertation proposal or something.

FLAVOR: Oh yeah, that is like a shake. Very thick. Not a very tasty chocolate, but I guess what should I expect from some sort of protein shake nonsense? I'm trying to drink it kind of fast because I suspect it will be less appetizing warm, but it is very thick and hard to drink quickly. Really on the edge of icky by the end.

EFFECTIVENESS: This shit better give me some mental energy because I drank Kraken on a weeknight and then fell asleep on the couch until 5:00 a.m. and anyway my head feels a little fuzzy. About halfway through and I have no idea if I feel anything. You know, besides lean body mass building or whatever. All done, and I'm not sure it really did much for me.

OVERALL: Not recommended, though I'm not ruling out the possibility that it holds benefits for people who are actually exercising.