Energy Drink Review: Rockstar Pure Zero Silver Ice

Rockstar, in its infinite wisdom, is now producing some "Pure Zero" drinks.* There's not really any promo copy on the can, so I couldn't tell you why it's supposed to be different/awesome. It's got zero calories and zero sugar. I hope it's not sweetened with (SPOILER ALERT) Stevia! Anyway, I went out for an emergency caffeine run on my break and found two flavors of this Pure Zero stuff. I'll be trying the Silver Ice first, which sounds like it might have metallic, sharp edges inside. Let us all hope and pray that it does not.

FLAVOR: It's pretty citrus-y. Kind of chemical-y. I find it to be a perfectly acceptable flavor.

EFFECTIVENESS: Halfway through, it is working quite well. I haven't crossed over into giddy territory yet, but I am doing some vice presidential blogging for y'all and ANYTHING COULD HAPPEN (given enough taurine in my system, anyway). I'm 3/4 of the way through, and my legs are pretty shaky and I just made an MSPaint illustration, so I think you could say this shit is working.

Overall it worked very well and tasted just okay. I probably wouldn't get it again, but it's not gross or anything. Just try it yourself, okay?


*Apparently they were released on the Fourth of July FOR AMERICA.