Friday, February 28, 2014

Pluggin' Away at Pluggers

I still love to hate this cartoon and sometimes look at a month's worth of panels all at once just to fill up this here blog with ridiculous content. You're welcome/sorry.

Pluggers are boring squares who have just been waiting for their giant humanimal-hybrid bodies to deteriorate to the point at which it is socially acceptable to get prescribed mass amounts of pharmaceutical fun drops and be high as fuck all the time.

That is not a "pretty young girl," she's just a regular member of the plugger cast like you!* I hope it doesn't strike too much of a blow to your self-esteem, dude.

FUCK YOU, OBAMACARE. (I'm guessing this is what this means.)

Unlike the rest of us, pluggers perform the basic assigned duties of their jobs. Aside: when I used to work at a pizza place(/any time I have ever ordered pizza), the manager would just give an estimate as to how long deliveries would take based on how busy we were and how many drivers were working, so I'm pretty sure the idea of pizza in precisely 30 minutes was just a thing in commercials one time in the '80s. But whatever, I am sure pluggers tip like shit (if at all), so I don't know why this pizza dogbro even bothered to hurry.

How can a dog grow a beard?! And why is the chicken lady judging him for not sticking to some 1950s idea of clean cut = professionalism? He stocks the shelves at the grocery store. So does my husband. He has a majestic beard and a Ph.D. Fuck you, plugger lady! Besides, have you seen what's going on with her appearance? I mean, she has weird wobbly nodules on top of her head and what are basically googly eyes behind those glasses.

We know you guys spend six days a week in line at every CVS, Walgreens, RiteAid, Target, and Wal-Mart pharmacy in town trying to quadruple-dip on each of your opiate prescriptions, do you really not have it together enough to step one aisle over and pick up a second heating pad? Fucking lazy, cheap-ass pluggers. Quit complaining!

*Though apparently she's the stand-in for "young woman." Because she's thin and has long eyelashes, I guess? I don't want to think any more about plugger beauty standards. ahadfhiiopwqe

No comments:

Post a Comment