Energy Drink Review: Cannabis Energy Drink

Hemp-ergy?

Guys, I went to the mall! Sometimes Isaac and I like to go to the suburbs and eat at Olive Garden and watch horror movies in giant multiplexes (we saw It Follows, 4/5 stars). We had a bunch of time between dinner and the movie so we wandered around the mall and found some DELIGHTFUL items for purchase in Ye Olde Spencer's Gifts Boutique. They sell a line of hemp-based energy drinks called, of course, Cannabis (contains no THC, sorry stoners). Probably don't ever drink one of these in your car in case you get pulled over. It just doesn't look good. I picked up the classic green can--I hope it tastes like weed! JK, I don't, I'm not into plant flavors, EW--and a fruity one. I'm trying this for you. For science. For the United States of America. Here goes!

FLAVOR: It tastes mostly like a kind of syrupy energy drink. Not terrible, not great. Vaguely citrus-y, very sweet. It does not taste like it's been laced with pot or a rope or anything.

EFFECTIVENESS: I'm about halfway through (it's only an 8-ouncer) and I think I'm perking up. I struggled to get up at like 3:30 this afternoon, so really anything helps, let's be honest. I did the dishes and have moved on to other household chores and am rocking some '90s Sarah McLachlan, so yeah, it's probably working.

OVERALL: Okay! It's nothing special except for what it's made out of and obviously they don't have fridges at Spencer's so I had to take it home and put it in the fridge so make of THAT what you will.