Energy Drink Review: V8 +Energy NOW WITH CARBONATED KINDS

So I often drink these V8 Fusion Energy guys in the mornings because mornings. A while back, I saw a few of these newly packaged 12 ouncers that are lightly carbonated, so I'm guessing they're some kind of new product. I decided to give them a shot. BTWs, did you know that V8 is owned by Campbells? Makes sense, both try to get you to drink/eat tomato juice or soup, which are objectively icky.* I have now tried all three flavors and taken to buying four-packs of some of them, so obvi I'm liking them, but here's an overview:

FLAVOR: The blackberry/cranberry is actually pretty tasty. Not dissimilar to a flavor they've already got in the juice ones, but it's lightly carbonated, so it's, like, better I guess. It's got a TOUCH of the green tea-ness that gives it its caffeine, but not so much that it bothers me. The orange/pineapple, unsurprisingly, I didn't like much because of how it has pineapple juice in it. Guys, I'm terrible at tiki bars because pineapple juice ruins things for me ALMOST BUT NOT AS MUCH as banana flavoring destroys otherwise tasty food and drinks. Okay, but the best one by far is the white grape/raspberry flavor. It is legit delicious and I've even used it as a mixer in a pinch and liked it quite a bit.

EFFECTIVENESS: These drinks have 80 mg of caffeine. According to a very useful webernets site, a 12-oz. Diet Coke has 46 mg and my drug of choice, a standard 16-oz. Monster Khaos, has 154 mg. So these V8 guys are more effective than a can of pop and are way less chemical-tasting. They're 34% juice according to the can, if you're concerned about that sort of thing. ("Probably mostly apple juice," says Isaac, like I care what's in my beverages.) They make me feel alert without pushing me into shakiness or borderline anxiety territory, which is good for a mid-morning cube-sitting situation. I usually end up drinking another energy drink after lunch sometime, but these are a good option for the morning when I am (somehow) less exhausted-feeling and don't want to crash too early or overdose on two full-caffeine 16 ouncers in one work day.

OVERALL: Guys, these are pretty good. I drink these. Recommended.

*Guys, I fucking love tomatoes, but I don't want to drink them. I don't even like soups that are tomato-BASED very much, even if there's a bunch of other stuff in them. I can't explain it.