Friday, July 11, 2008


Dear America, Just because you only have three weeks left at your normal, adult job before you go back to school doesn't mean that you should get really drunk every single night. It doesn't suddenly make it okay to violate your no-new-drinks-after-midnight rule, even if you're doing it to hit on a boy by buying a round of shots. I'm sure there's a better way to get guys than plying them with expensive alcohol, but it works so well with attracting me, I'm afraid I don't know any better. Ouch. That's my head. I think I'm still drunk. It's 8:30 in the morning and I'm at work, though. I hate you, computer screen. I hate myself a little bit right now. I've got another half a Nalgene of water and a Rockstar Juiced in front of me. Hopefully these will make it possible for me to make it through the half-day of work. Oh, god. I suck. Don't suck as much as me, friends. Love and apparently a shot of Bushmill's Wild Turkey (even better) at 1:30 in the morning, Lauren Q. Local Alcoholic UPDATE: The crisis has passed, which confirms my theory that I wasn't actually hungover, just still drunk. Because otherwise, two hours is like the fastest recovery time ever. Hooray!

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