DISCOUNT Energy Drink Review: Turn Left

Were you aware that Big Lots! sells random off-brand energy drinks? For under $1, no less? Well, get your energy-craving little ass over there and check out the beautiful selection! One of the fine beverages I selected on a recent BL! outing was the Turn Left Energy Drink.* This is a NASCAR energy drink. Need I say more, friends? To the review! TURN LEFT ENERGY DRINK TASTE: 2.5 (out of 5 possible asterisks) It essentially tastes like Red Bull. Meh. EFFECTIVENESS: **** "It's Liquid Horsepower--How Fast Do You Want To Go?" says the can. Well, I don't know that I'm really moving that fast, but I seem to be awake and alert and multitasking to make the rest of this Lukacs article less painful, so it's pretty good; though I don't think I could outrun a racecar right now or anything. Unfortunately, because that would come in really handy. GATEWAY DRUGGINESS: ** No shakes or anything, just regular alertness. I won't be moving straight to meth from this. Too bad. OVERALL: 2.83 asterisks, though I have to say it was especially good for $.70. *Will link later. My office computer doesn't have Adobe Flash Player and I have to get administrative access to install it blah blah blah.