Tuesday, September 15, 2009


Guess who had a delightful new experience today? Yes, me! Good guess. I have never called the police before this morning, but today I got lucky. See, I was awakened at 7:30 this a.m. (traumatizing already) by a woman very nearby repeatedly screaming "Get off me!" OMFG I totally thought a lady was getting raped in my building and I got up and grabbed my phone and put on flipflops to go investigate where this terrifying yelling was coming from. I soon realized that some of my neighbors were involved in a very heated argument. A man and a lady yelling a lot and an occasional loud noise (I do not even live next door to these people). So, I called the (non-emergency number) police. By the time they came, it was quiet (of course), but I heard the coppers talking to them and no one was arrested or taken to the emergency room or anything. So that's good. I am now irrationally afraid to leave my apartment as I do not want to run into this particular man neighbor and have to say hello like I totally didn't call the cops on them this morning. At least I didn't have to call 911 and report a rape in my building, because that would have been slightly more scary. Friends, have you ever called the police? Did you ever think you were in the middle of a terrible rape scene while first emerging from sleep? Is it normal to feel kind of guilty? But wouldn't I feel more guilty if a lady were being raped or beaten and I just pretended it wasn't happening like the rest of my neighbors? This was not a regular argument, people. And WTF, who is that angry first thing in the morning? Tell me about your brushes with domestic disturbances, friends, and we'll all feel better together.


  1. When I was 20, I lived in the top half of an old house. There was a yard behind me, and then an alley and the back of the next street. One night I heard yelling for a long time, and then I heard "Is that how you treat your husband?" He repeated that sentence while he hit her and she was crying and her mouth was open and you could hear the punches echo out with her cries. That sounds far more poetic lame than I want it to. I called the police and left and drove 20 miles to stay the night at a friend's house. I was scared because of the gruesome real violence - it made me terrified for my self. I also felt paranoid that he would come after me because I called the cops. So, there are lots of unexpected feelings that come up when you go through this situation. Should you have called the cops? Absolutely. If it was uncalled for, then the couple has learned their lesson about what counts as profoundly inappropriate conflicts with the person you supposedly care for . . . If it was called for, you prevented it from escalating (I know, it quieted down long before the cops got there, but still . . ) and becoming physically violent. It's normal to feel weird about it.

  2. My bpyfriend has called the police on our neighbors twice. In both instances, the couple who occupies the abandoned townhouse next door were fighting in the middle of the day---screaming, breaking shit, et cetera. My boyfriend works from home, and twice it was loud enough for him to call the police. The guy was given a talking-to once, and arrested another time. But he came back the next day, and they still fight (though I haven't heard any physical things since then). Better safe than sorry, and if it's loud enough that you can hear it from a couple doors down, there's no way for the guy to know it was you who called the cops.

  3. Never called the cops on an argument, but I did once when there was a really drunk or otherwise unstable guy wandering in the street near my house. And yes I felt irrationally guilty...I tried to emphasize that I was worried he'd get hit by a car, not that he'd attack anyone, but I was sure the cops were going to give him a hard time. I figured better that than find out the next morning he'd actually been hit by a car or something.

    what really wigged me out about it was that I called the police, gave a really thorough description of the guy's clothes, hair color, facial hair, height, etc and they immediately asked, "okay, but what race was he?" nnngh.

    now where i live the cops just circle around constantly. whee.