I'm coming out... about David Lynch

No, I don't sleep at night anymore, David Lynch. Thanks for asking.

Guess what, people? I've officially decided I don't like David Lynch. I'm not saying I won't ever give his work another try, but I'm not going to pretend to get it or even want to do so. David Lynch sucks. I've seen a good bit of Twin Peaks, and it was weird and fucked up, but I always meant to get back to it. I saw Blue Velvet, and kind of wanted to cry a lot about the fucked-up-ed-ness of it all. Especially naked Isabella Rossellini in the front yard. And I saw Mulholland Drive, which was like, WTF? I heart me some Naomi Watts and whatnot, but seriously. You're really just fucking with us now, right? And then recently Isaac and I watched Inland Empire. DAVID LYNCH HAS STOPPED TRYING. I have a certain appreciation for people who push beyond the formulaic in film. It's not that I'm anti-art or whatevs. I just feel like David Lynch is only successful because people who are too smart for their own good think they should learn to appreciate or embrace his non-linear storylines or characters switching bodies or S/M creepiness or Kyle McLachlan showing up over and over again or long, drawn-out, nonsensical monologues and/or flashbacks or maybe parallel universes or maybe just people wearing donkey (rabbit?) masks, sitting in silence. I felt this way for awhile. I was like, "I don't really get the appeal of David Lynch. I mean, somebody has to push the envelope, but do I have to watch it? Because it just makes my head hurt." This was before Isaac rented from the Netflix gods Eraserhead. NEVER SEE ERASERHEAD IT IS TERRIBLE. If you want to be scarred for life by creepy snake/fetus baby things that get killed by the main character in long, terrifying, gory death scenes, then go for it. I'm just saying I hated it, and would have broken up with Isaac over making me watch that if, you know, I wanted to break up with him or something. Also: the title refers to a stupid tangential dream sequence that I also hated. What I'm saying is: just because I'm smart and can think critically doesn't mean I have to like David Lynch. He is an asshole who wants me to have headaches. FUCK YOU, DAVID LYNCH. FUCK. YOU. PS: See my sister's review of Lynch's 1984 film version of Dune. She is smart and probably hasn't been traumatized by Eraserhead yet.