Saturday, November 14, 2009

Things that are wrong on the Huffington Post

Sometimes I look at HuffPo and scan it for funny video clips or interesting headlines. Usually I'm just like BLAHBLAHBLAH don't care and I NEVER read the columnists because, again, I don't care. But anyway, I do look at it sometimes because they often have breaking news first and in REALLY BIG FONT. Here are some things I did not like upon my latest perusal: This story linked to from the front page with accompanying fashion photos:
Chloe Sevingy and Zoe Saldana wore a similar bra-out look to a Prada book party in Los Angeles Friday night. Presumably both dressed in Prada, the "Big Love" and the "Star Trek" actresses avoided posing together.
LADIESBOOBIESCLICKHEREBIGFRONTPAGESTORYNEWS. Amirite? BTW, the above quotation is the story in its entirety. This headline is on the "Politics" page: "Levi Johnston Posing Naked With Hockey Stick In Playgirl." Crucial information for voters everywhere, obvs. This headline: "FDA Questions Safety Of Alcoholic Energy Drinks" with this photo: Hey, uh, HuffPo "Business" editor, that picture is totes outdated. Sparks no longer has caffeine. DUH. Should've asked a teenager. On to Entertainment: "Is Daniel Radcliffe A Pothead?" Really? You're really asking that? Here's some answers: Maybe. Probably. Who cares? I'd totally get high with Daniel Radcliffe. I bet it'd be hilarious, he seems like a cool kid. Also: "'Twilight' Director Reveals Kristen Stewart & Robert Pattinson's Romance." SHOCK SHOCK SHOCKILY WOCK. SRSLY, haven't we known this since we found out who these actors are? And: "PHOTOS: Nicole Kidman Busts Out At CMAs," 'cause boobs, right? Right below that link: "Carrie Prejean: The Bible Allows Breast Implants." HuffPo is there when you need news about other people's breasts most. Also, Carrie Prejean is apparently a biblical scholar. I usually don't go to any of the links past Entertainment, but today I did, and boy am I glad. The main "Living" headline is "What Would You Do For God?" Nothing. I don't do favors for imaginary beings. Except for The Sexy Gay Jesus, but that's because he's my Imaginary Gay Best Friend in addition to being my Deity of Choice. Also, he pays me back in booze. Anyhow, let us look at some of the photos featured with the stories on the "Living AKA LADEEZ STUFF" page: WAIT. WTF jolly fat lady who apparently can't stop herself from grabbing that cake? That was to illustrate Oprah's Dr. Oz's article on "health reform." Totes not problematic or anything, right?

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