This is not a joke. Or it's, like, the sneakiest and most convincing parody of all time.

Many of my relatives are set on "limited profile" for me on Facebook so that they do not have access to my hundreds of drunken photos and do not get alerted when I write "sorry I threw up again" on people's walls on Sunday afternoons. These same relatives (who had the gall to friend me in the first place) have not offered me the same courtesy. My aunt, who I have only met a few times and whose familial claim to fame includes leaving the Mormons to marry a minister from an even more conservative Christian (and Southern!) church, sometimes posts ridiculous Facebook statuses. Since it would be a dick move to just copy and paste it into my own status and then write WTF!!!??? where she could read it and I might actually hurt someone's feelings,* I'm copying and pasting it here:

WELCOME TO THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA Press 1 for English, Press 2 to disconnect until you learn to speak English, And remember only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you, JESUS CHRIST, And the AMERICAN SOLDIER. One died for your soul, the other for your freedom. If you agree... copy and paste in your status

W FUCKING T F??!!? SRSLY?

Luckily, this is one viral trend already covered at STFU, Conservatives, a website that would be too depressing to follow on a regular basis. God, I love America. This is so exactly what I'm writing about in my thesis right this moment. Ahhhh. *I have a little bit of a soul.