Monday, January 18, 2010

While I write my thesis, other people write funny things on the internet

Exhibit A: Jill induces us all to embark on a worthwhile experiment involving observing our fellow human beings. Predictably, the results of which culminate in the conclusion that "exceedingly few non-aborted fetuses become saintly millionaire football players." True. (I Blame the Patriarchy) Exhibit B: Josh's choice of comics to mock falls in line with my ongoing thesissary investigation into militarism and masculinity. Some highlights from the other day include: "[General Halftrack] secretly harbors fantasies of someday becoming a 147-star general." Ha! Also, " Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go wash my mustache for the next nine hours." Ha squared! Oh, the funnies. (The Comics Curmudgeon) And here I sit on the seventh floor of the library, half hyped on a random plastic 22-ounce bottle of Rockstar Punched (orange mango & passion fruit flavor) from a flat Isaac found a the Big! Lots!, copying and pasting things from other blogs in lieu of actually blogging and copying and pasting paragraphs and pages from old papers of mine into a document that will one day be the second chapter of my thesis (chapter one does not exist yet, either, mind you), entitled "Selling Masculinity, One Camouflaged Can of Soda at a Time: War and Gender in American Culture." I might insert "Post-9/11" in there somewhere. I have been known to throw around the term "post-post-9/11" also which totes sounds like something that would be included in a spoof of a humanities paper, but I recently read it in a published scholarly book so somebody else pulled the same term out of their ass and are apparently employable, so I am clearly a genius and will totally get 100 pages written in the next couple weeks, successfully defend my thesis at the end of February, and graduate in May on schedule. Also, I will have shiny, lustrous hair while I do it. I don't know why. I've had a lot of this Rockstar.* Better get back to poaching my own academic work now. Huzzah! I promise one day to return to the webernets on a semi-regular basis and write some silly presidential posts. *"What is going on up here?" -Charlie, It's Always Sunny, gesturing to head.

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