Thursday, May 13, 2010

Pluggers redefine "functional" prescription drug abuse

It's been a busy and somewhat depressing few weeks here at Blonder and Thinner HQ. Did you know it is difficult to obtain large purchases like cars when one lives in poverty? Where you aware that other people's family quirks are even more infuriating than your own family's? Also, did you know it rains a lot in springtime? But enough about me, let's talk about Pluggers. It's been too long, friends. Too long:

Because Lady Pluggers should not concern themselves with politics? Because even Pluggers aren't stupid enough to buy into that Tea Party nonsense? I find this hard to believe. Lady Pluggers are just too high to know where they are most of the time.

Are Pluggers too stupid to understand "press down and turn"? Is their arthritis medicine so ineffective that they can't open the bottle without severe pain? Again, I find this hard to believe. We all know that the real issue here as the Grandma Plugger's "arthritis medicine" has got her so fucking high she can't possibly get her shit together well enough to open the bottle. Muscle relaxants are not so conducive to coordination. In fact, she probably has her granddaughter do it so she can offer some to the kid too. Baby-sitting is so much easier when the kids are on horse tranquilizers.

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