Tuesday, January 25, 2011

I arrive home from class to start live-blogging the SOTU 20 minutes late

Obama's talking about steel mills. Take a drink!

Does anybody else think Boehner looks like Biden's tan evil twin? Isaac thinks they look like good and bad angels on Obama's shoulder.

China is beating us, take a drink.

Boehner is kind of blending into that chair.

Somebody tried to start a Facebook applause. Nice try, John McCain, we all know you and the internet aren't friends.

Obama loves science! Boehner, not so much.

"We're not just handing out money, we're issuing a challenge." I will accept that challenge, as long as you hand me some money.

I'm trying to figure out how much Boehner tans. He's not as tan as the lady on My Strange Addiction who tans three times a day, so I'm guessing 1-2 times daily.

Why does Obama hate our poor oil companies so much? Siding with the terrrists. The Energy Secretary refuses to look up, Isaac thinks he's on his phone.

Boehner looks like somebody forced him to go to his little sister's band concert.

Obama just insulted football in favor of science nerds! So unAmerican. Isaac's calling this a plan for "Nerd Nation." I support this.

Schools, education, blahblahblah.

God, there are so many white dudes in suits here.

South Koreans respect their teachers. What's that about? My students have not gotten that memo.

Fucking Baby Boomers ruining America with their aging and retirement.

Isaac: "Lots of humanities funding on the way." SRSLY. What is this science and math nonsense?

He's talking about illegals in our schools! Get 'em out! John McCain looks SO skeptical about addressing illegal immigration

Isaac claims that Boehner and McCain are going to have a "grimace-off."

China's beating us at TRAINS. The Chinese built our railroads a long time ago, how are they winning now?!

Harry Reid supports infrastructure. I'm not going to lie, I like the sound of this high-speed rail shit.

I love Nancy Pelosi's response to Obama's airplane "pat-down" joke.

I think Obama wants farmers to sell crates of beets on ebay.

Lobbyists have rigged the tax system? I find this hard to believe.

I find myself agreeing with Orrin Hatch's perplexed look at this "lowering corporate taxes" bullshit.

Is that black guy doing homework? Isaac thinks it's a crossword puzzle. I'm mostly just surprised to see a black guy in the chambers of Congress.

Henry Waxman still looks like Professor Flitwick/Willow.

People are concerned about healthcare?

Obama wants to freeze domestic spending. Michele Bachmann is wearing a lot of eyeliner. "Painful cuts" are ahead! Boehner, not happy about those military cuts. I wonder if his eye-rub just now, was a signal to one of his Republican bros.

Faint praise for the bipartisan deficit commission.

Kathleen Sebelius is looking badass, as per usual.

I love how Biden always looks like he's about to cry. He's not clapping for much. Though he does have the gavel, that should cheer him up.

The stock market IS whimsical. Also, I take a drink for eliminating tax cuts for richie riches.

Obama is going to single-handedly reform the individual tax code.

Man, we are going to "win the future" so hard.

Salmon joke! Even Boehner can't fight the smile.

What?! We're going to find out information on the internet? About government spending? That's crazy! Obama hates earmarks. McCain LOVES this veto promise. Who did Biden just give a thumbs up? I must know!

Does anybody else miss the days when all the president talked about was terrorism while stumbling over big words? I get way drunker while watching those speeches, but mostly just to keep from crying.

The brave men and women who left the theaters of war with their "heads held high" are the ones who still have heads. And they might be full of PTSD!

Don't end the Iraq War, Obama, it's my favorite! Oh hey, remember Al Qaeda?

I don't want no American Muslims in my American family! Al Franken does, though.

The Taliban apparently uses strangling as its main MO. Afghanistan needs to shape up. The Joint Chiefs are looking pretty skeptical.

You need to get it together, too, Pakistan.

Oh, we're awesome for reducing nuclear proliferation. HRod Clinton nods authoritatively. I have a crush on her, have I mentioned that?

John Kerry doesn't look pleased to be sitting next to McCain. Is that the special "failed presidential candidates" area? I hope it's roped off and named in honor of Adlai E. Stevenson. Right?

Long standing ovation for soldiers! Go Americahhh! Some of our soldiers are gay? Since when! Those military dudes are NOT clapping or responding to this. I'm not going to lie, I almost get a little bit verklempt about the repeal of DADT. If A&E were producing this program, I totally would cry.

Biden knows ALL ABOUT arguments. Democracy IS messy. More cheers for America, despite this, apparently. That's what undocumented workers are for; cleaning up after democracy.

This IS a country where anything is possible. Have you seen Lady Gaga's outfits? Also, Biden is from Scranton! Boehner gives him an awkward handshake. Boehner's dad owned a bar! Also, he got choked up about it, which makes me not hate him as much just for a minute.

Some guy named Brandon saved those Chilean miners. I dislike his facial hair, but good for that guy's small business. Isaac's heart was warmed. GAY. (Feelings are gay, obvs.)

I do like the IDEA of America. Obombs just gave a pretty buddy-buddy handshake to Biden.

Brian Williams is talking about the commingling of the parties in the audience. Nobody yelled at the president from the audience this year, sadly.

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