Sunday, April 03, 2011

Bad Fashion I Saw on TV This Week

Not a lot of outfits I saw on TV struck me as particularly hideous this week, probably due to a higher number of films viewed and a lower number of reality television programs consumed. However, I did see a few "Oh my god you knew you were going on TV and you wore that on purpose anyway?" outfits:

Exhibit A:

Watching an episode of Hoarders from early season two on DVD, I spotted THIS:

This woman is not a hoarder*--she is a but a relative of a hoarder, and therefore should know better than to appear in public/on national television in something as unfortunate as this turtleneck/blouse combination. Not only are turtlenecks generally icky, but this one is BROWN. But the most offensive element of this ensemble (tragically, this is all we get to see of it, but I suspect she is wearing some sort of LEGGINGS!) is the top layer. I am pretty much opposed to animal prints in all situations, but this is a particularly egregious example. It looks like a leopard print that has been "toned down" to a less garish color palette than the animal itself, but is now even uglier! The print itself is messy, and the color scheme is definitely what my mother would call "poopy." You may not be as crazy as your hoarding cousin, Leopard Lady, but you did wear this on a national television show. This does not bode well for your state of mind.

More bitchy fashion observations from things on my TV screen include the following:

Exhibit B:

Not only is she playfully plugging her ears while talking about her murdered boss' various business dealings, but she wore THAT sweater to testify in court, where presumably she knew she would be filmed!

The screenshot quality here is not very good, but I wanted you to be able to get a sense of the fringe in its full glory: encircling her upper torso. Original video starting about 1:28 or so found here.
That bright-blue sweater is a true fashion monstrosity. I'm not going to lie when I say that I'm pretty sure that as a juror I would stop listening to anything this witness said because I just don't think fringe has a place in a court of law. Also, she testified for the defense and Dateline convinced me that the dude on trial totally killed his dad and brother and also shot his mom in the face, though only severely disfiguring her.

*Mocking hoarders' clothes would be too easy. Their lives are already sad enough without me complaining that they didn't pull a more flattering pair of pants out of one of their rat-infested hoard piles.

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