Thursday, June 09, 2011

Terrible Fashion Decisions Caught on Reality TV

First, the first episode of The Bachelorette, Ashley was wearing this sparkly white-person-nude-colored mermaid dress. She is kind of orange, so the dress color is a little too close to her skin and not quite working for her. This is not to mention the fact that she's both muscular and petite, whereas I think mermaid dresses are more suited to ridiculously tall and lanky people (in my opinion). But the color by itself was not flattering:
"Don't worry, in a week or so I'm going to joke about how small your boobs are and how we all wish you were someone else. But then I'll feel bad when your feelings are hurt... so that's something."

I was watching The Haunted on Animal Planet, and saw Bernard here with his unfortunate facial hair. Goatee? Soul patch? Poorly distributed stubble? Make up your mind and either shave all over or not at all, friend.
No. Just no.

On a fabulous episode of It's Me or the Dog entitled "Bully" starred this fellow who was a 20 year-old bro with a scary dog. He was terrified of neutering his dog because he was invested in the animal's balls. Anyway, he was ridiculous:
He definitely has some Four Loko in the fridge.

I've watched a few episodes of My Cat From Hell, and they seem to largely feature neurotic young (white) couples fighting over their misbehaving pets. Por ejemplo: look at these fucking hipsters (nothing is wrong with what they're wearing per se, but they whole scene is just so... you know):
Glasses here has some more "artistic" frames he wears sometimes and enjoys spending time in his workshop with his hipster fucking table saw--just a "couple zips" and you have a new cat climbing shelf!

 Although I shouldn't really be surprised seeing how the show's host/resident cat behaviorist/musician/facial hair artist is this guy:
His name is Jackson Galaxy. This is not a joke.

On an episode about a haunted hotel on The Haunted, I spotted Laurie. Laurie probably went to the beauty shop and put on her best makeup before her talking head interviews and this is still what happened:
Animal Planet is still national television, friend.

I was watching So You Think You Can Dance last week and spotted Mary Murphy wearing a number of unfortunate outfits (not to mention the icky brassy shade of her massive amounts of hair right now), but seriously what is going on with that choker and that purple velour thing?

Friends don't let friend appear on television like this. Maybe these people need some new friends. Or they could call me for advice.

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