Energy drink review: Rockstar Coconut Water Energy + Hydration

I was pulled in by the neon blue can.

I have a compulsion to buy all new energy drink flavors. I'm a pretty big fan of the other Rockstar energy + hydration drinks, so I decided to take a risk on this one. I've got a lot of academic Lifetime movie research to do this afternoon (seriously) and I thought today would be the day I'd try the coconut water can that has been sitting in my fridge. Initial impressions: It's very coconutty. This should not really surprise me, I suppose, but since coconut beverages largely make me think of poor decisions involving giant rum-themed beverages, I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to drink the whole thing. We'll see. The can tells me this drink is made with "real coconut juice," which I first read as "red coconut juice," which I thought was interesting since the drink itself is clear. So this last sentence was basically just a waste of typing.

This guy has feelings about this drink. The coconut is not so strong that it's making me sick (yet), since it is supposed to be watery. However, I'm not sure the caffeine kick will be worth it. Maybe I should go pick up a snack to eat with it to mitigate its flavor like I have to do whenever I try to drink beer or non-sparkling white wine.

Update: I've been working on the drink for about 20-30 minutes now. It's worse as it gets warmer and the sickly sweetness of it is kind of starting to build up in an unfortunate way. I'm going to power through for energy purposes, though. I will not let you down, dear readers!

Further update: This is really getting gross, people. I'm drinking it in the largest possible swigs and trying not to taste it. Though I was inspired to draw an inspirational stick figure picture for a friend already, so I'd say the energy part is working all right. It might not be worth it.

Final recommendation: Gross, not worth any energy boost. It could be the fact that I drink it fast so I wouldn't have to keep tasting it, but I mostly just have a bit of a headache and want to wash away the flavor fast now. Yuck.