Energy Drink Review: Shockwave Energy

This can is tragically lacking in ridiculous promotional copy.

At the Speedway across the street from the office I'm temping in this week, I came upon a variety of "Shockwave" energy beverages. Since they were cheap and I'd never tried them and ohmygod I'm so tired why do I have to get up at 7:00 a.m. this is the worst?, I bought a couple. For today, I will be checking out the regular Shockwave. It looks pretty low budget. Also, it claims it contains something called "Co Q10" (an antioxidant), which really just sounds like a robot name George Lucas rejected. The Shockwave line is manufactured and distributed by Monarch Custom Beverages, where you can get your own private energy brand made. Which, as soon as I have some money, is totally happening. My drink will come in sparkly, rainbow-colored cans, taste like candy and magic, and be endorsed by the Sexy Gay Jesus. Product name suggestions are encouraged in the comments.

Flavor: the can is blue, but the beverage is clearly neon yellow.* It tastes kind of citrus-y. A bit like a gummy worm, but still with that energy drink chemical tinge to it. Not too bad.

Effectiveness: It seems to be working pretty well. I was falling asleep at my desk a little while ago, and I now I'm feeling pretty alert. A while later, and still feeling good.

If you don't mind just a generic energy drink taste, this is definitely an effective and economical choice. No glowing endorsement, but recommended.

*And so soon will be my urine, amirite? Haha, I made you think about my pee!