Energy Drink Review: Rockstar does energy water now, apparently

You're feeling refreshed already, aren't you?

My favorite enabler picked me up a new Rockstar Energy Water--blueberry pomegranate acai (with other natural flavors). I'm sure it will taste just like all three and other natural flavors. Not sure why Rockstar's doing waters now, but why not, I guess? There isn't even any sweet ad copy on the bottle (which looks basically like a Vitamin Water*) to explain. Let's see if this shit is as good as a regular Rockstar.

FLAVOR: It tastes like some berry/fruit water stuff, not like an energy drink at all. Pretty tasty, I'd say. Possibly a good option for people who don't drink soda but want the benefits of massively caffeinated fruity beverages. It is also sugar-free, FYI, but we all know I like fake sweeteners the most. Much less abrasive than most energy drinks.

EFFECTIVENESS: The bottle is 20 oz. and claims to contain 2.5 servings. That is ridiculous. Who drinks only 8 oz. of their fancy water and then puts it in the fridge for later? This is a legit question, I don't drink a lot of fancy waters. Is that what people do with them? I suppose I've had about one serving size so far, and I'm feeling perkier. I did get, like, over nine hours of sleep last night, but that's never stopped me from being tired before! I sipped on it for most of the afternoon, with positive results. All 2.5 servings! Definitely feeling up.

Mid-range on the Lauren Energy Scale, about the same as any other Rockstar:

Overall, RECOMMENDED. A good alternative caffeine source for people who care about their teeth.


*GUYS, we are watching season one of Homeland and not only is Damian Lewis super-hot, but his character was a POW for eight years and he didn't know what Vitamin Water was when his wife put it on the grocery list. It was adorable. In an al-Qaeda kind of way, obvs.