Energy Drink Review: NOS Zero

It comes in a gray can!

I'm subbing for the morning receptionist, which means I got up real early today. I've always trusted NOS for overnight driving purposes or overnight paper writing, or whatever it is I need a boost to do overnight. Anyway, I'm pretty much falling asleep at the desk here and the Diet Coke I had before lunch didn't do much. I hadn't seen this can before, so of course I had to get it. DON'T LET ME DOWN, NOS.

FLAVOR: This one is NOS Zero, and I tend to like the zero-type energy drinks, so hopefully it'll be good. Or at least no worse than most of these beverages. Okay, it pretty much just tastes like regular NOS.* It's hard to describe, but I guess it's kind of orange-y and chemical-y. I haven't had a regular NOS in awhile, but I'm pretty sure it's a lot like this.

EFFECTIVENESS: NOS Zero claims that something called CMPLX6 will give me "enhanced mental focus." It is unclear what this is made up of, but I'm sure it's carcinogenic or something. I'm only maybe a quarter of the way through the can and I already feel more up. THANK THE SEXY GAY JESUS, it's been a long day already and it's only 1:15. There's only so many times I can walk laps around the lobby to stay awake before I just say, "Fuck it" and lay down on one of the rugs in here. I'm about halfway through, and it's totes working, but I'd better slow down before I explode my own brain/totally crash at 2:00. I chilled out on drinking more here for a bit, and I feel very, very good. A little bit extra fidgety, but not sleepy, and definitely able to focus on multiple random internet things.

OVERALL: Totes RECOMMENDED. I love NOS. I mean, I even took some dissertation notes during my break just now, so something's got to be going on! It's saved my afternoon (so far). I have ZERO reservations about recommending this drink. (GET IT?!)


*Which I will always and forever pronounce it "nōs" like Spanish "us." None of this "nahs"--the vowel sounds too nasal or I want people to be talking about Nas or something.