Friday, October 25, 2013

Ask Dr. Booze Science: Beer = Headache Cure?

Dr. Booze Science, who has a PhD in Drunkology and an MD in Nonstop Partying and is definitely real and not one of my silly alter egos, has graciously agreed to answer your questions/give out really good advice on this here blog. I've already got one question! Send me more, and I'll make sure the good doctor gets 'em.

Dear Dr. Booze Science, 
I had a headache, I drank a beer, no more headache. Did the beer cure it & should I have another?

The short answer is clearly yes and yes. Why do you think old-timey doctors used to give everybody booze as medicine? Not because they didn't really have medicine that cured anything so they just gave you alcohol to make you not feel as much! No, because booze is totally medicine. I'm a doctor, you can trust me. However, as a professional drunkologist, I encourage you to utilize the scientific method and do a series of experiments to see if your results can be duplicated. No matter how many pints or cases of beer it takes, do your due diligence and see it through. If beers keep curing your headaches, you're golden! If for some reason you end up with another headache, just drink more beers to see if that will help! If you end up passed out, then clearly you don't have a headache anymore, and PROBLEM SOLVED. Good luck, my junior drunkologist friend. I believe in you.

BOOZE SCIENCE FACT OF THE WEEK: If you learn something while drunk, the only way to access that knowledge again is to match the original level of drunkenness. This is why you only remember how awesome crappy frozen pizza is when you're trashed. #science

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