Tuesday, September 30, 2014

"Energy" Drink Review: Monster Unleaded

That "M" is meaningless in this case. Source.
This is a caffeine-free energy drink. It was really only a matter of time before Monster itself decided to tap this market. The non-caffeine chemicals this Monster variety contains are L-carnitine, taurine, and L-arginine. ALL FAN FAVORITES! I am be-skepticaled that this will do anything for me, but when I saw "Unleaded" in the store, obvs I had to try it. I am no longer employed, but maybe this "energy" drink will motivate me to make the curried squash deliciousness I bought all the ingredients for and is one of like 2 things I ever, ever cook.

FLAVOR: It does taste like an energy drink. I have on occasion craved the flavor without wanting to stay up all night/risk immediate heart failure because I've already had an energy drink and like 3 Diet Cokes today because I had to be up before noon or something. So, this may actually be a good substitute.

EFFECTIVENESS: I'm about a third of the way through the can, and I think I do feel a little perk-up. Maybe it's the ox bile, maybe it's just a placebo thing where I taste those Monster-y chemicals and my body thinks it's time to wake up, but we'll see if it keeps going. Little while later, definitely doing something for me still.

As soon as I finished drinking it, I was tired again. Also, cooking is hard. I nearly took an after-dinner nap but then I knew Sleepy Hollow was on in like an hour and that's not really enough time so I opened a real energy drink. So perhaps if you aren't a caffeine fiend like I am, the "unleaded" will perk you up for an extended period of time. For me, any benefits lasted only as long as the drink itself.

Overall: not recommended if you're, you know, actually in need of caffeine.

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