Friday, July 25, 2008

New feature alert! Measure my alcoholism!

If you're paying super-close pay attention, you may have noticed down on the right below the excessively long list of labels there's a new "Celebrating Responsibility" widget with a counter. This was inspired by a conversation with Ka$h about how I should put up one of those "It's been __ days since the last accident" that people put up in factories or Safeway break rooms, but in reference to me vomiting from drinking too much. Although I have to say that in my own defense, this last Friday's slip-up was the first several months. Let us outline the circumstances that my poor decision-making skills turned into disaster: 1. Having no women subs at our coed soccer game, so all of us who were there had to play all 90 minutes. It ended in 0-0 and I was VERY TIRED. 2. After showering, meeting up with my very fun but irresponsible friend, Applebee's, at a bar that is like .5 feet from my house. (2 blocks) Applebee's was already a little drunk when I got there. His companions were working on it. I ordered a sandwich, because I had yet to eat dinner. Applebee's pulled a classic Applebee's move and ordered a round of Patron. And we know about me and Patron. 3. Yes, I ate my dinner, but three more rounds of Patron were ordered. God that shit is good. Also, I decided I needed a drink to sip on, so I got a cranberry vodka. 4. The idea of smoking up was suggested. Getting drunk first, then smoking and regretting it is a notorious mistake of mine that was last committed in last year's tragically-ending Fourth of July celebration, in which I spent hours vomiting while my friends watched Independence Day. Anyway, we went to my house to smoke and Applebee's started taking off his clothes at some point and I ran out to the porch to hide. After our other friends took him home, the room was all spinny, so I had to lay with my head in a pillow on the living room floor while Josh watched a couple episodes of The Office. I did laugh at some of the jokes until I got it together to go upstairs and throw up. It was awesome. 5. I am an idiot. Anyway, I've started the counter so that we can measure my progress at not making myself vomit. Hooray!


  1. Last 4th of July was super tragic. But kind of wonderful. Also, did you really spend hours vomiting? Because I seem to recall Independence Day lasting about four minutes.

  2. Your experience seems to be interesting. There are appreciable dangers in having alcoholic drinks and also in smoking. People who drink heavily also tend to smoke heavily.



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