Friday, July 25, 2008

New feature alert! Measure my alcoholism!

If you're paying super-close pay attention, you may have noticed down on the right below the excessively long list of labels there's a new "Celebrating Responsibility" widget with a counter. This was inspired by a conversation with Ka$h about how I should put up one of those "It's been __ days since the last accident" that people put up in factories or Safeway break rooms, but in reference to me vomiting from drinking too much. Although I have to say that in my own defense, this last Friday's slip-up was the first several months. Let us outline the circumstances that my poor decision-making skills turned into disaster: 1. Having no women subs at our coed soccer game, so all of us who were there had to play all 90 minutes. It ended in 0-0 and I was VERY TIRED. 2. After showering, meeting up with my very fun but irresponsible friend, Applebee's, at a bar that is like .5 feet from my house. (2 blocks) Applebee's was already a little drunk when I got there. His companions were working on it. I ordered a sandwich, because I had yet to eat dinner. Applebee's pulled a classic Applebee's move and ordered a round of Patron. And we know about me and Patron. 3. Yes, I ate my dinner, but three more rounds of Patron were ordered. God that shit is good. Also, I decided I needed a drink to sip on, so I got a cranberry vodka. 4. The idea of smoking up was suggested. Getting drunk first, then smoking and regretting it is a notorious mistake of mine that was last committed in last year's tragically-ending Fourth of July celebration, in which I spent hours vomiting while my friends watched Independence Day. Anyway, we went to my house to smoke and Applebee's started taking off his clothes at some point and I ran out to the porch to hide. After our other friends took him home, the room was all spinny, so I had to lay with my head in a pillow on the living room floor while Josh watched a couple episodes of The Office. I did laugh at some of the jokes until I got it together to go upstairs and throw up. It was awesome. 5. I am an idiot. Anyway, I've started the counter so that we can measure my progress at not making myself vomit. Hooray!

2 comments:

  1. Last 4th of July was super tragic. But kind of wonderful. Also, did you really spend hours vomiting? Because I seem to recall Independence Day lasting about four minutes.

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  2. Your experience seems to be interesting. There are appreciable dangers in having alcoholic drinks and also in smoking. People who drink heavily also tend to smoke heavily.

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