Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Today's links brought to you by a glowing sense of vindication

Sorry to gloat without explanation, friends, but this one's not for the internet. Yet. Just sayin' that I am in a great mood, and only just now opened an energy drink. So happy hump day! Wipe those Cheeto crumbs off your fingers, change into a fresh pair of pajamas, and open up the blinds on that basement window, blog readers!* I gots some linkies.

-First comes from the Boozehound Cinephile (I bow down to the more experienced drunk). The bloggers over at Pajiba have been writing about good TV shows or something, blah blah blah--he talks about screwdrivers. In the involved and analytical sort of way only a true conoisseur can appreciate. Apparently the screwdriver is a telltale "alcoholic's drink." Just because we've kept massive amounts of frozen orange juice concentrate on hand for the past four years and it is a VERY rare a occasion that we have even less than two different bottles of vodka, doesn't make me an alcoholic! Seriously, people. Although I did like Ted's theory that drunks like screwdrivers because they can just pretend that they're drinking juice. I mean, not that I would have ever done that in the presence of some nice Mormons who came to visit me shortly after I left the church and was still letting them come over, pretty much only because I knew them personally and felt like I should let them fulfill their home and visiting teaching callings. That would have been really tacky. For the record: I do order screwdrivers in bars sometimes because I want something simple and not carbonated, but I only consider it a true "cocktail" if we're using vodka at least one step above Smirnoff and orange juice that tastes something like actual oranges and none of that sickly sweet Sunny D shit. The Dirty Dozen. (Ted Boynton, Pajiba)

Mulder likes screwdrivers, take a drink.

-I know I've got her over on my short blogroll and she doesn't update a lot, but seriously, you HAVE to go read Terrible Mother. She is seriously one of the best writers on all of the internet. She will break your heart and patch it up with her poignant, funny, and engaging accounts of an everyday but amazingly beautiful life lived. Yes, I'm being sincere for once. Please don't walk away! She uses sarcasm too! Go check out her latest post (as well as the archives), written on location at her dying grandmother's house in California. She talks about family, love, and relationships with an honesty and an accuracy (if that makes sense) that I've rarely seen in writing. In California, I Dream of Snow. (Terrible Mother)

-So recently GWB was like, "Hey, thinking about maybe possibly looking at the 'family planning' section of Walgreen's** is totally an abortion and we're not going to fund that shit," and HRC and (one of my home state's two awesome lady Senators) Patty Murray were like, "Nice try, assholes." A lot of people are talking about it, but I'll link to Amanda's post because, you know, I like doing that. Everything's abortion. (Amanda Marcotte, Pandagon)

-Speaking of women and choices (esp. vis a vis reproduction), Lisa Kansas spells out clearly how people would just prefer that we not have any, because any choice we do make is WRONG. "'Men' and 'mankind' apparently not being defined to include 'ambulatory wombs.'" (Lisa Kansas, PunkAssBlog)

All right, we'll call this good for now and save a couple links for later. Or tomorrow. Whatever.

*If you do not read enough blogs to realize that these are all stereotypes about bloggers, well then... I just felt really super-nerdy all of a sudden. Goddamn the webernets are an insulated place sometimes.

**So I totally bought (non-fruity) condoms at Walgreen's yesterday, and I swear the older guy (like, in his sixties "older") who works there a lot and always seems kind of patronizing was acting especially jackassy to me. He gave me shit about unloading my own basket (it had other things in it besides condoms, people) because "no one ever knows what to do with them afterwards" and seemed annoyed that I tried to use the pen pointer thing on the credit card screen. I was TRYING to be helpful, asshole. But apparently I shouldn't help you avoid repetitive stress injuries or preserve the integrity of the touch screen. I can't say for sure that he was judging me for being a whore, he does have a shitty job, but I can't say for sure that he WASN'T.

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