Things I Like about America

The 4th of July was last week, and I thought about doing a historical Declaration of Independence post, but then I was too lazy. So instead, belatedly, I will list a few things I like about America: 1. One of our nation's Founding Fathers/patriarchal icons was super-sleazy. That part isn't so cool as much as the fact that it is so well-known that it's talked about in that lowest form of comedy possible, the newspaper comic: Frankly Synchronous (Comics I Don't Understand). 2. Despite all our incredibly well-known flaws, Americans still believe this is the best country in the world: are you proud to be an american? (Passive Aggressive Notes). 3. We're the TV-iest country evah. And I fucking love my TV. 4. We produce a lot of t-shirts. The t-shirt is my favorite item of clothing. Hands down. 5. We're not any of those other countries that have violent uprisings and protest and whatnot. Most of the time. But it always ends pretty quickly and we can take comfort in the fact that nothing will actually change. 6. Cheetos. 'Nuf said.