Thursday, August 25, 2011

Pardon Me While I Deal with My Existential Crisis

Listen people who still sometimes check this blog (sister, old roommate, friend from high school), I know I've been neglecting you. I know you need my magical comedic stylings to help you get through your days sitting in a cubicle or teaching the world about history or helping kids learn how to talk or whatever it is you do, but I am having a CRISIS. And I desperately want to finish my Richard Nixon Wikipedia research so I can bring you one of my famous presidential posts, but right now I hate everything. I hate school. I hate academia. I hate teaching. I hate this town. I hate not being able to leave it or go anywhere because we are poor and have no car. I hate that there are so many douchebags in this town/world. I hate that trying to expand my horizons just brings me into greater contact with douchebags. I hate TV even though I love TV. I hate all my hobbies (I have like, 2 besides TV, OKAY?). I hate hot weather. I hate my allergies. I hate my lack of future job prospects. I hate that I can't even drop out of school because I can't afford to lose my assistantship and Isaac and I have become accustomed to our fancy life in this house with cable and air conditioning and multiple rooms and everything. 

So anyway, I clearly need to go get my Prozac dose cranked back up another notch, but in the meantime I'm rewatching all of these to make myself forget my general life malaise and laugh for a couple of minutes at a time:

If one of my students gave this presentation, said student would get an A. My students will never be this hilariously clever, however. I haven't known them long enough to hate them yet, at least.*

*Disclaimer for non-friend audience: I totally don't hate my students! I'm a good teacher! And professional! I wore grownup clothes twice already this week! I really need this job right now!

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