Monday, February 20, 2012

From the Late Night Cable Movie Files: A Trusted Man

He's not a stalker, but your real stalker will make you think he's the one stalking you. So awkward.
My thirteen year-old self would be so pumped about this glorious union of Buffy and X-Files alums. Ladies an gentlemen, A Trusted Man on Lifetime.

Charisma Carpenter AKA  Cordelia from Buffy and Angel is an up-and-coming executive somethingorather with a traumatic past. Her cop boyfriend is not so happy that she has a life of her own and freaks out when she gets a promotion that requires her to move to Boston. She figures out he's been following her and shit and her bossy therapist tells her to take the promotion and forget about him. There is a tense moment when Charisma goes to the cop house to get her stuff there and he comes home unexpectedly! But it is okay!

Charisma/Sonia moves to a giant mansion in Massachusetts and runs into Alex Krycek at an art gallery he owns. OF COURSE. I do not think this painting buying scene is the last we will see of him! Although it seems Nicholas Lea is not listed on the cast page on IMDB. Maybe he's too embarrassed. Cordyface comes home from her day of work to find her front door ajar. DON'T GO INSIDE. Krycek comes by with her painting and they totally have sparks. The cops don't find anyone or anything missing, but we see later that the cop ex has installed a surveillance camera in her bedroom! A few days later, they run into each other and he invites her to an art show. She wears some really sparkly pants to the art opening and Krycek is still into her.

Sonia's ladycoworker tells her she should check out Krycek on the "web" because that's what everybody does now to be safe and also talks her into being her daily workout buddy. Her therapist tells her to take it slow with Krycek over the phone while Stalky McCopEx sits outside her house and listens to her phone call. Sonia talks in a meeting of bigwigs about pricing tiers for the new "Jupiter tablet." Her boss wants her to pitch some shit to somebody else, but for tonight she's making dinner with Krycek and now they are totally doing it and the ex is listening in/watching. The Ex uses cop magic to find out Krycek doesn't have a criminal record. The Ex calls Krycek posing as Sonia's assistant and cancelling their jazz date plans. Now Sonia is sitting alone waiting for him and he took his coworker to the show instead. The Ex takes pictures of them sitting together at the club. I think I know what he's going to do with those.

Krycek/Sebastian comes to see Sonia as she receives the pictures and their stalker-caused misunderstanding leads to a break-up as he claims the date in the photos is his sister. She does not believe him! Not sure where she thinks the pictures came from... Also, apparently her ex is on a leave of absence from the NYPD or something because he is watching her ALL THE TIME and is up to something sketchy with Sebastian's info in a cop database. Sonia has a nightmare about her rape and almost catches the cop doing something outside of her house, but she thinks it's Sebastian. That's what the cop WANTS you to think!

Cordy's office ladyfriend gives her a stun gun because she thinks Sebastian might be stalking her. The cop shows up posing as a cop (see how that works?) at the gallery and still Sebastian's phone. Ladyfriend also digs up a fake criminal record that the Ex made claiming Krycek has a DUI and domestic violence charge. The Ex makes Sonia think Sebastian was waiting for her outside of work and leaves Sebastian's phone there! This whole stalker bait-and-switch is a pretty good idea, actually. Sebastian comes to see her and she gives his phone back and he is confused. The Ex calls Sonia to see if she wants to catch up while he's in town. He guilts her into setting up a coffee date. Well played, stalker ex who is actually outside her business because apparently he doesn't have to go to work in New York anymore. The therapist thinks coffee is a terrible idea. Listen to your therapist, Cordelia!

This movie is also known as Obsession. That guy on the right is the obsessed one, she is the pretty lady in danger.
 She's with stalkerTomCopEx and she asks him about the photos of her she saw at his house and he claims he had another cop follow her for her protection (because she was raped before?). He tries to make out with her, and she's not into it. He gets pissed that she doesn't want to get back together and do a long-distance thing and is mad that she talked to her therapist about this. He finally leaves. God, poor Sonia and her repeated victimization.

Uh-oh, Tom is posing as "David" and goes to see the therapist. He tells her what he's been up to and the therapist figures out who his is. She is clearly going to die. I think somehow Tom is framing Sebastian for this murder. Sebastian is arrested, but Cordelia doesn't believe him. Poor Krycek! Ladyfriend from work is comforting Cordy now, who thinks she might just move back to New York. Ladyfriend invites her for a girl's weekend. Ladyfriend might have to die since she doesn't want Sonia to move back to NY and obviously the ex is surveilling and disapproves. The Boston cops figures out Sebastian is being framed. Tom is following the ladies on their trip to their ladyweekend. This will not end well!

Apparently Tom took a leave from NYPD, which is why he can be a full-time stalker. I can't really figure out how he is hearing the women's conversation inside the car. Tom tells her to pull over once he hears on the police scanner that he's a suspect. He pulls a gun on the women and they get in his car because they are dumb. Sebastian goes to look for Sonia at her house, but she is nowhere to be found. Good thing she's got that stun gun ladyfriend gave her. He's brought the women to some sort of abandoned factory. Tom gets pissed that Sebastian is calling Sonia since he was supposed to be in jail. He admits killing the therapist. Tom wants Sonia to call Sebastian back and invite him to join them at a warehouse. Dear Sebastian, I know you're not friendly with the cops right now, but you should probs call them.

Tom comes out with a slow clap. Tom shoots Sebastian and Sonia finally tries to run away incompetently. Does she not have the stun gun on her? She hits him with a giant chain thingy and gets away for a minute. Tom finds a knife stuck in a pile of boxes because this is the perfect warehouse. She pulls the stun gun out of her boot and gets him before he can stab her. Somehow everybody survives. Sonia and Sebastian are totally going to get back together after he recovers from his gunshot wound! The end.

Overall rating: 2.5/5 ironic thumbs up

Right now another Charisma Carpenter classic is on, Deadly Sibling Rivalry, which luckily somebody else made an awesome recap of for you already.

1 comment:

  1. Well, here's MY review of this classic.

    Jealous lesbian therapist, bitter and twisted with her love for Sonia (Charisma Carpenter), persuades her client to split up with her boyfriend of 2 years for a 'job' elsewhere.

    Stupid, gullible, empty-shell of a human, Sonia, drops her boyfriend for her shallow 'career' at the drop of a hat. She's ok. Her therapist told her it was ok and she only wants what's 'best' for her. As a man-hater who finds heterosexual relationships abhorrent, she is more concerned about what is 'best' for herself, 'cause Sonia is a babe.

    Nasty lesbian therapist finds out that boyfriend isn't giving up without a fight. Therapist digs in spitefully – harbouring hopes that Sonia will 'cross over' and gives more poisonous 'advice'.

    Boyfriend Tom is pissed off that Sonia has found Sir Bastian and jumped into bed with indecent haste. What a bitch! Sir Bastian might consider having to move his gallery all over the USA (and beyond) if this monster of a woman decides that she wants a 'promotion' elsewhere. But she is her own person, which gives her the right to flip people off when it suits her own shallow ends.

    Tom has had enough of nasty bitter lesbian therapist and kills her – blaming poor sap Sir Bastian who mistakenly thinks Sonia has a soul.

    At the end, poor Tom gets arrested for his crimes – all caused by selfish women who think he has no value as a human being and is totally dispensable.

    Epilogue: Sir Bastian, after recovering in hospital, has had time to ponder his situation. Sonia visits him between meetings with important clients. She works on her Power Point display while telling him how much she misses him. He tells her to go **** herself. The end.

    Moral of the story: Karma is a bitch.