Energy Drink Review: Rockstar Xdurance Performance Energy

I'm still not buying "XDURANCE" as a thing, but I do like your science words, Rockstar!

Guys, it is finals week. And I have a lot of work I've procrastinated so I'm in my office on a Sunday afternoon with a new flavor of Rockstar, a giant stack of books, and a seething resentment of everybody who ever made going to grad school seem like an okay idea. The selling points on this can of Rockstar are the following:

1. I haven't seen this kind before. I have to try all the kinds (except for tea flavors because those will be gross, though perhaps not as gross as this shit).
2. It promises only 10 calories per serving (because girls are supposed to count those, right?)--which of course is two per can because who drinks and entire 16-ounce energy drink? Obviously we all stop halfway through and just let the rest get really flat and gross and drink it another day.
3. It claims to contain "branched chain amino acids" and electrolytes. I think they're just making shit up now. It's like science water.

I didn't realize it was red until I saw this photo. It is red! It tastes pretty red, too.

This beverage is blueberry/pomegranate/acai* flavor and lightly carbonated. It is DELICIOUS. Now, since I am a little bit anxious today already, I cannot wait to see what 1.245 grams (x2) of "energy blend" does to me!

Update: 2/3 done with the drink and it is still delicious. I feel rather alert, though my anxiety has definitely increased mildly. Caffeine is dangerous for the crazy. But SRSLY, I will not do ANYTHING if I don't drink it, I will just give up and go home and nap even though I got up at, like, 3:00 p.m. again.

Further update: It's good. It's doing its job. I have completed a few tasks at least. I will continue to complete things. I believe in myself now that I am full of xdurance or whatever.

*Ah-SAH-ee? (see 2:30)