Sexy Gay Jesus here. Some of you may have heard the latest news that some ancient piece of papyrus caught me referring to "my wife." And we all know there's been long-time debates about whether or not I had a special lady in my life. Here's the facts, people: as your Most Fabulous Lord and Savior, I have vowed to try everything at least once. I even try absinthe again every few decades to make sure it is still the Devil's Brew. So Mary Mags and I got a little bit wasted one weekend in Galilee when I was turning, like, ALL the water into wine and we found ourselves an amenable (if slightly shady) rabbi and got ourselves married. Mostly we were best friends, and I'm not saying we never hooked up, but mostly we got and stayed married because we hung out all the time anyway. Doesn't mean Peter and I didn't keep our thing going though, guys. Those pre-crucifixion days were a little crazy. Don't judge. Because I don't.
|Blessings upon this Tumblr, I say.|
The Sexy Gay Jesus