Energy Drink Review: Xyience Xenergy Mango Guava

This is what it looks like.

Many moons ago, I reviewed some other Xyience Xenergy beverage and found it quite to my liking. I was at Kowalski's the other day and saw that unlike everything else in that store, the Xyience drinks were on sale for quite a good price and I bought a couple because I have my comprehensive exams/have to go to work this week and I have a caffeine problem. "Mango guava" sounded delicious, so I'm starting with that flavor. Important to note that Xyience is apparently the Official Energy Drink of the UFC, which is kind of funny since I always considered Xyience one of the less blatantly-soaked-in-testosterone energy brands.* This was an erroneous conclusion on my part. Clearly.

Flavor: Delicious! Mango and guava are definitely a marked difference over all the Red Bull clones out there (which, as I frequently mention, I do actually like). Not too sweet, though. Apparently this drink also has zero calories and is sugar free.

Effectiveness: Because 2093875897 people called today and at least 1/3 of them were irate, I have been very busy and my drink lasted longer than usual because of doing stuff. It was effective and delicious to the last drop. Because I drank it over about three hours, no crazy high, but definite alertness. But it has been a terrible day at God's Work and all y'all should just remember that a receptionist is just a receptionist who cannot force people to answer their extensions or listen to their voicemail or return your calls. Or you could just get pissed off at the one person who has to answer the phone every time. That's cool. /Passive-aggressive receptionist rant

This sexy punchy Xyience/MMA lady demonstrates how irate callers make me feel. Minus the sexy.

OVERALL: RECOMMENDED. Now go be nice to somebody who works at a front desk. They have probably been yelled at recently.

*Its former CEO has some exciting legal problems!