Thursday, June 12, 2008

Quote o' the Day + energy drink review

On this hilarious Sadly, No! thread on "The Pursuit of Dappiness," commenter Johnny Coelacanth:
I heard that Obama was pushing for a “freestyle battle” rule in any upcoming debates with John McCain. All comments and replies must last no more than two minutes, be in rhyming meter and accompanied by a beat to be chosen by both parties beforehand. If no beat can be agreed to, snippets of James Brown’s “Funky Drummer” will be employed. Debate winners will be based on audience acclamation for the “illest” rhymes and most concise policy summarizations.
OMG what I would give to see the McMav, or as another commenter dubbed him, Jizzle Sizzle MC Trey, drop some rhymes, or whatever they call that "hippity-hopping" stuff. Also, since I got like 10865876 cavities and my dentist give me shit about drinking Diet Coke, I've been trying to substitute it for slightly less corrosive and more highly caffeinated beverages. I have turned into one of those people who drinks energy drinks. Just in the afternoon. At my desk. And can I just say, that they are kind of awesome. I've been trying lots of different kinds, just for kicks. Most of them are kind of good/gross in the same way as Sparks. But the one I've got today is particularly strong. I'm always kind of a fidgeter (legs shaking, etc.), but I'm sitting here at my desk shaking, listening to James Brown, and grinning to myself because the Xyience Xenergy Clear* I'm drinking is full of upper magic. You may say, "Lauren, you should use the 'focus, vitality, and endurance' this flavor is supposed to grant you to get some serious work done." But then I would reply, "But instead, I'm BLOGGING and giving you something to read while you avoid your work." But I do wish I were with people right now so I could run around and giggle and maybe work on some sort of "project."**

So anyway, I'm going to start reviewing the different energy drinks. I will definitely have to revisit some, but since I don't drink coffee and I never get enough sleep, I have many long working afternoons to fill with taurine, which I've just learned is one of the major constituents of bile. XYIENCE XENERGY CLEAR CITRUS (+ random Chinese? characters on can) "focus - vitality - endurance" (ratings out of five possible asterisks)
 Taste: It is somewhat citrus-y. Kind of reminds me of Zima. Not too bad. Fulfills its campaign promises:  I am both focused and feeling very "vital," and will probably live to endure the rest of this day. I hope to be able to go to sleep nine or so hours from now. Ability to understand why people might do speed: Energy + euphoria = too bad I'm at work right now

Overall rating: 3.66666666667/5 asterisks

Now I'm going to do some work and research my Thursday U.S. History post. I'd better hurry, only two hours left!

 *Apparently Xyience gets the sexy lady on their website so hyped up, she gets all sweaty and has to take off her pants! 
 **Like arts and crafts, or baking, not like, cooking meth or something. Who needs meth when energy drinks make you feel like this!!?!!?! (OMG, I may need to slow down.)

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