Monday, January 28, 2013

Energy Drink Review: FRS Healthy Energy Wild Berry

I found some of these FRS drinks at Rainbow the other day. I am a little concerned that "healthy" is in the name and that it is not carbonated and I am told to "shake well." This could just taste like some sort of berry-tinged grass smoothie. I was intrigued that the can says it is fueled by something called Quercetin®, which claims to be a "powerful all natural antioxidant" that just happens to be a registered trademark. Aw fuck, I just looked at the side of the can, and it's made with green tea nonsense. Ew. Also, one of the (multiple?!) paragraphs* on the side of the can says FRS was originally formulated to help give chemotherapy patients more energy. So that's something, I guess.

I'm going to go ahead and crack open the can while I find out what the hell Quercetin is and why it needs to be shaken to "activate" it. It does kind of sound like there are particles floating around in there as I shake it. Is this going to be chunky? Wow, the can said the Quercetin makes it a "natural" yellow color, and it is like, neon yellow, but really opaque, unlike most energy drink's neon yellow tint. Okay, apparently Quercetin really is naturally-occurring and not just in ox bile, but in tea and berries and other identifiable and edible plant-type things. Also, it maybe possibly helps cure cancer? I hope so! My student health insurance is not very good, and I am screwed if I get cancer.

FLAVOR: Okay, it tastes like fruit juice. The berry flavor is nice and kind of actually tastes like berries. There's not too much of a tea aftertaste, which pleases me because I think most tea tastes like tree bark/hamster food. I haven't experienced any chunkiness yet. I'm not sure if I'd want any more than the 11.5 ounces here though, either. It's kind of just like fancy juice.

EFFECTIVENESS: I do feel a little perkier about halfway through, but there's no caffeine, so I am skeptical that it will last. It is not lasting. It didn't make me sleepy or anything, but perhaps people less reliant on caffeine and aspartame to live will get more of a boost than I did. I suppose at least it's healthy or whatever.

It tastes fine, but not recommended for actual energy needs. I am yawning so much, thank the Sexy Gay Jesus I've got a Diet Coke in the fridge for after my break.

*Who am I kidding? I basically wrote my master's thesis about the written copy on the Monster Assault can, so this kind of shit can really be a goldmine.

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