Energy Drink Review: Limelite Fusion Energy Drink

It's been SO LONG since I reviewed an energy drink. HAHA NO, but seriously you guys this is the only kind of updating I can get myself to do, so let's just be happy about that and move on. Isaac spotted this latest adventure on the bottom shelf at the Rainbow Foods: Limelite Fusion. It's got kind of an Ed Hardy vibe about the can decor, which is A REALLY GOOD SIGN. Obvs. It claims to be "citrus berry," "sugar free," and also "the healthy alternative." It is from Wisconsin, like many of my favorite things, and can be purchased at Milwaukee Brewers baseball matches. Also, lots of athlete bros have been poorly photographed drinking it, but I have to admit, Limelite Fusion, you had me at Reggie Miller. That guy is DREAMY and also apparently plays some intense table tennis.

This is some baseball guy.

It lists lots of vitamins and shit listed on top of the can, so I was worried it would try to actually give me energy "naturally" with things that are good for me (like 800% of my daily vitamin B12 requirement--am I going to OD?), but there is caffeine and taurine, etc. in it too. PHEW. I like the sound of "citrus berry," so let's give this drink a shot! Maybe it will actually promote a "healthy lifestyle" for me! HAHA obviously not, but nice try, Milwaukee Brewers energy drink or whatever.

FLAVOR: Oh my gosh, you guys, it's really good. Both citrus AND berry! Who knew? (I mean, the company knew and technically anyone who can read knew, but still, it actually tastes like those things.) The longer you drink it, the more it kind of just tastes citrus-y like your typical energy drink, but I think it's still got a nice berryish edge to it.

EFFECTIVENESS: I think it's working guys. I'm drinking it pretty fast since it tastes kind of like magic. I'm still catching up on Twitter from the past 20 hours, so the fact that there are 83 new Tweets since I started scrolling through is making me a little nervous, but my brain is working a bit faster with Limelite's helps, so that is good. **WOMEN'S HEALTH ALERT: Go read Irin Carmon on Gosnell, because that is what all the peoples (feminists) are talking about today, apparently because pro-lifers just discovered the case.** Okay, I can really tell I'm getting hyped up because when I got a message in Outlook for a meeting room reservation, I clicked on "Accept" and "Send confirmation now" or whatever and in my head I was like, "I'll accept you. I'll accept the fuck out of you!"

Guys, look at all the douchebro and lady douchebro clothes from the Affliction line associated with this drink! I will be ordering this lovely dress next-day delivery so I can wear it to my job interview Monday:

It is $210, so I'm guessing the fabric is made of diamonds or something. Totes worth it for the clear versatility of this garment.

Anyway, enough of that fun. This brand is ridiculous, obvs. But the drink OVERALL: Recommended. Tasty and effective.