Energy Drink Review: Red Rain

You thought that was Greenland over there, didn't you?

This past weekend, the Beard and I took our snark show on the road to Canada where we played to sold out crowds of the two of us and a spherical stuffed elephant in motel rooms of middling quality. Also, we went and watched a women's World Cup double header in Winnipeg and checked every single store we went to for new, strange energy drinks. I brought this one back from our bros in the Great North: Red Rain. According to redrainenergy.ca, there are several flavors, but I only saw this classic one for sale. I appreciate that there are no flashy graphics or can copy trying to claim it will turn you into a moose (or whatever it is alert Canadians strive to be). It's just like, "I'm an energy drink." Let's see if tastes like socialized medicine (mmm).

FLAVOR: Okay, as I was concerned might be the case, Red Rain has a vaguely cough syrup-y "red" flavor to it. Not too bad, though. Pretty generic "energy drink"/Red Bull wannabe-type flavor. It's fine. Not delicious, but it will do.

EFFECTIVENESS: I'm pretty sleepy today. This has only been mitigated by the walk I went on at lunch, not because I'm healthy, but because I have to take an entire hour and was falling asleep on a park bench while doing a crossword. I really need Canada to come through for me on this one because I've got to revise a sketch before my class tonight and also stay awake at my job. I'm about 63% of the way through this can, and it is working pretty good. I feel less like death and more like a human who doesn't hate everything (still most things--that's kind of my whole deal).

A dude just came in to drop off some payments and I said, "Okay, great" so I think you could say this is working. Legs shaking? CHECK. Vague sense of enthusiasm? CHECK. Too much tweeting? CHECK and CHECK. Damn, Red Rain, you're working.

OVERALL: Recommended. If you are in Canada and are like, "Where are the Monsters and Red Bulls?" (You will not say this because they have them everywhere, even rural Manitoba where our motel was.) you will still be okay as long as you can track down a Red Rain.