Wednesday, March 02, 2011

Energy Drink Review: Full Throttle Red Kind

I have reading and reading response-type things to do for my class tonight, and am sleepy here in my over-warm office filled with fellow grad student companions. A 12-oz. can of Diet Coke has proven to be ineffectual in the fight to complete this work without nodding off into my book and/or onto the keyboard. Anyway, I went to the student union store AKA the closest place to get an energy drink and chose a Full Throttle Red Berry flavor. I do not believe I have every had this flavor before. The classic Full Throttle tastes like delicious citrus-y gummy worms. The blue kind is, as we know, gross. So I'm trying red. Full Throttle is a subsidiary line of energy drinks manufactured by our friends at Coca-Cola. The brand is heavily involved in promoting NHRA, or National Hot Rod Association drag racing. This does not suprise me in any way. Fact.

Flavor update: It tastes like the red end of a gummy worm. I like gummy worms. This is a fine development. The can also tells me that Full Throttle uses a "No Choke Mixture" (trademarked) that you "don't have to force down" (Full Throttle can, 2011). Does the tastiness imply fewer weird chemicals? Apparently. Will this transfer to lowered efficacy? We shall see.

Wakefulnes update: About halfway through the can, I'm feeling more alert. This is despite the fact that I am reading Donna Haraway's When Species Meet, where she spends a lot of time waxing poetic about training for agility sports with her dog. Also, licking her dog, who licks her back. Inside her mouth. It is gross. I am nearly completely distracted from her discussions of biopolitics and ethics because of her romantic love for her dog. But then again, I am a cynical asshole who doesn't understand pets.

75% in and feeling sleepy again. Maybe I should shotgun the rest of this can.

Final update and evaluation: It's been roughly 1.5 hours, I drank the whole thing and I am not as sleepy as I was before the drink, but any high I had did not last very long. Maybe I need to get out of this stuffy office. I will try and force myself to write a response paper first. Anyway, if you don't like the flavor of many energy drinks, I do think Full Throttle is correct that theirs tend to test better. More fruity/candy than chemical-y. However, I am disappointed with the outcome, as I'm still/already dying for a nap again.

1 comment:

  1. Red Full Throttle is basically the only brand/flavor of enery drink that I buy (I buy the black one if they're out of red at the store).

    However I usually don't drink those for the "Wake-up" effect, but rather because I really LOVE the taste of it, especially the red one.

    Anyone knows of a drink that tastes somewhat similar to it, but that doesn't cost 3$ a can and that won't give me a heart attack by the time I'm 25 ?