How will the bros deal with the aftermath of Ashley's "closure"? Will Ashley stop being so damn insecure? What ridiculous outfits will she wear? How many different types of Orientalism will be on display? STAY TUNED TO FIND OUT.
I'm not sure why Lucas and Ryan are both lame, get rid of them. Everybody else I can understand still being here. This week: three one-on-ones with no rose and a group date that will have one up for grabs. Interesting. J.P. is filled with jealousy. Hometown visits are coming up! Woot! I can't wait to hear more about all the guys' dead relatives some more.
Constantine has the first date. J.P. can't deal with other dudes dating his lady. If she doesn't choose Ben/Dax (he's who I would choose, obvs), I think she and J.P. really do have a good emotional connection. He is pretty hot in a bald white dude kind of way. BTWs, Ashley's top has no back to it. I suppose we've talked about how small her boobs are, so I guess she doesn't need a bra. They're holding hands on the train in Taiwan. Ashley's taking him to an "adorable little village." Lantern festival! Ashley thinks it's "cute." They're going to participate by writing their wishes on the lantern and releasing it into the sky just like the adorable locals with their cute traditions!
The bros are back at the hotel. Ben gets the date! So cute. He doesn't want Ryan to be right for Ashley because nobody likes him. I can't believe Ryan hasn't had a one-on-one with her yet, though he does like to butt in during group dates.
Ashley is telling Constantine that he's physically perfect and that she loves that he's a family man. She likes that he remembers everything she says. He's taking it slow, not claiming to be in love with her yet or anything, which Ashley is eating up. Now they release their lantern with their wishes to the sky and kiss. I like his plaid shirt. It's cute. All the lanterns in the sky are really pretty looking in the night sky. He totes wants to bring her home to Atlanta.
I finally finished my energy drink and have poured some champagne. I'm feeling hyped up already, so I think I'm going to be extra-silly when Isaac gets home from work in about an hour!
I'm especially pumped about this date with Ben! He's so dorky and adorable. They're going to moped around a national park. He's going to drive. Like a MAN. This park is beautiful. He just called her "kiddo." She feels "protected" by him and she is eating up that masculinity. Clouds on mountains! Reminds me of home. Now they're making out on one of those rope bridges that are always breaking in Indiana Jones movies. That would be awesome if the planks underneath them broke right now. Then Ben could be really masculine and save her life!
BroHouse update: Lucas, Ames, and J.P. are going on the group date, so Ryan's pumped about finally getting his one-on-one. Lucas is trying to diplomatically say Ryan's "energy level" is a little bit much and doesn't understand Ashley's connection with him.
They're having a romantic dinner. He's going to teach her about wine during hometown visits (because of his winery). He's cute, funny, dorky, and MAKES WINE OH MY GOD TAKE HIM NOW, ASHLEY. I just said he doesn't "throw around the L-bomb," which cracks me up. Ashley looks like she's tearing up a little bit. He's excited for his mom and sister to see how happy they are together. Making out! His taking head interview says he's starting to fall in love. Ashley's voice over says the same thing. She feels like he's her boyfriend. Oh, cute!
Apparently Ben didn't come home from the date last night! OooooOOOooo. J.P. is stewing. Ben says they didn't share a room, and J.P. has to walk away. I like Ben's stripey blazer.
Weddings are real big in Taipei for some reason, so the group date is taking wedding photos. Ames looks confused, as usual. Lucas has some sort of silk Asian outfit thing. Ames has a sweet powder blue/sparkly tux with pink shirt. J.P. says Ames "looks like the offspring of an ostrich and Elton John." J.P. gets a classic black tux and he looks pretty hot. Now he's gloating. Ashley is wearing a really pretty black mandarin dress thing. They're doing a "traditional Taiwanese" thing. J.P. does not like that the photographer told them to kiss.
She and Ames are sitting in a fake tree in their photo shoot. I really like her silver dress! Now she's wearing a classic white gown for the one with J.P. That dress has a serious train. Ashley doesn't think their pictures are going to be very good.
The guys didn't have much fun and are being pretty awkward. Lucas felt "foolish" during the shoot. Lucas doesn't think it'll be hard to get married again because he wants kids, etc. He wants to slow dance with her now. Ames is showing Ashley old pictures and says he wasn't cool until he was 16. It made him humble, supposedly. Ashley thinks he's so "unique." J.P. is telling Ashley he is jealous. She makes sure he's not fighting with anyone. She thought he was as "cool as a cucumber." No cucumbers here! He's a hot one! A pepper. She awkwardly excuses herself. She brings J.P. the rose to make him feel better.
Time for Ryan's date! She doesn't care what anybody says about his "over the top" personality. She's wearing white jeans and they're walking around some temple. They're doing something with a matchmaking god. I don't like his pink short-sleeved button-up. She's wearing another backless shirt and now they're watching people doing Tai Chi. He says he doesn't know much about it, but starts mansplaining anyway. She doesn't feel ready to meet his family, but he's talking about it anyway. AWKWARD.
I just got a little bit dizzy standing up. Reclining and typing too long or energy drink/champagne combo? Better keep drinking to find out for sure!
Pink shirt is grinning so much. He's asking about her environmental credentials since he's a solar energy exec. She wants him to "teach her" about saving the environment. He's giving her a water heater lesson. My friend Neely would be so proud! She looks kind of bored. She's starting a speech, "No, honestly..." Now she's crying. He's "such a great guy" but doesn't see him as husband material. She's "just not feeling it." He looks really hurt. She doesn't want to put him through a rose ceremony, so he's going home now. She's not sure if it's the right choice, but she doesn't feel a physical attraction for him, really, so she should go with that feeling. He doesn't want to be alone. Poor guy. He has to hide from the cameras to cry and swear alone.
I'm not sure how I feel about her dress that in the back looks like a bikini top and long skirt. I hope she sends Lucas goes home, but I don't know if I trust Ashley to make any sort of logical decision. He's a nice guy, but kind of a blank. Also, really "traditional," which says subliminally to me "get back in the kitchen." Chris Harrison is asking Ashley about sending Ryan home. She already knows who she's going to send home. Rose ceremony without a cocktail party! I like Constantine's outfit. Ames looks like he's not following Chris' explanation. Oh, the top and bottom of the dress is only held together with some jewel thing in the front. Ugly.
Rose ceremony! Brown hair, orange skin, champagne-colored dress = not that cute, Ashley. Why don't you consult me before you get dressed? Constantine is safe. If Ben goes home, I will cry. Yea! BenDax is safe, too! Ames or Lucas? Lucas goes home! YES. She's going to talk to him about it now. Ames looked hurt when J.P. said he didn't expect that last decision. Lucas keeps calling her sweetie. Blech. Ashley feels really bad for sending him home, though. She really does take these eliminations hard.
I'm so excited for hometown's next week! I don't care about this interview with that Emily woman, so I bid you adieu until then.