Thursday, March 12, 2009
Plugger Drug Fiends: Now Available in Color
Remember Pluggers, the worst daily comic in the world? I was going back through the recent archives (because raising my blood pressure through reading crappy, infuriating cartoons is almost as good as exercising, right?), and found that not only are the daily comics now in color on the interwebs, but that El Jefe Plugger Numero Uno Gary Brookins is still accepting entries for "most blatant prescription drug abuse advocacy panel": Yeah, SURE, "anti-gas." You know this "vacation" is just a cover for an illicit trip to Cuba to load up on cheap prescription drugs and probably sex tourism. The Sexy Gay Jesus knows (though prefers not to think about) that the abomination that is the marriage of Mr. Dog and Mrs. Chicken Lady can't be all that sexually fulfilling. One of them is a bird! One of them is a mammal! Poor Mrs. Chicken Lady must look at her sad, pathetic unfertilized eggs dropping onto the bathroom rug each morning and remember how Grandma Chicken Lady warned her about running off with Spot or Rufus or whatever stupid name that corpulent hairy beast was going by back then. No wonder she's a drug addict. Previous installments of "Pluggers Are Just Like Rush Limbaugh: Prescription Drug Edition" to be found here, here, here, here, here, and here. Some might see this obsession of mine and say I have a problem, but I say, "At least I'm not a Plugger." And you can take that to the bank that will probably fail and lose all your money in the next couple months. That's why Pluggers keep all their money under the mattress.